I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
