Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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