I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize