That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
