So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
