Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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