TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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