I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
