guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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