Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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