I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
