the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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