weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I won the penis lottery.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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