Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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