I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
