So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
