Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize