I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
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Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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