i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize