it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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