I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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