We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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