I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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