why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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