Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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