But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pants are for mortals
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize