What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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