um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
