We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
