You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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