If that was your dad, he is hot
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
