Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
