I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
