My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize