i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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