Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
