AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
