one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
