Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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