I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
