I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He told me they were just razor bumps!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
