you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
