Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
