It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
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i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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