I want to stick my p in your. b.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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