You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
