Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
