I can tuck mytits in my pants
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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