Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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