You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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