Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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