Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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