Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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