Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
