is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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