She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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